How do I explain that for the birth of our children I had a nagging fear that he may not be there because he might be on shift and busy with a fire or emergency call? How do I explain that constant nagging fear for his safety throughout the time he's on shift? How do I explain what it's like to have him at work for 48 hours or 72 hours at a time? In the reverse, how do I explain what it's like to have him home for two to three straight weeks at a time because he has vacation time off? How do I explain that having him home for an extended period of time makes him a little stir-crazy and me a little nutty (more nutty)?
Todd loves what he does and has always loved his job, his career, his lifestyle... because it really is a lifestyle. I love that he loves his career and finds satisfaction in what he does. For me, I've always been independent enough that I can function well with him gone for two to three days at a time. With that said, it's certainly not always easy.
Like the time that our young Evan, at two years of age, swallowed his older brother's medication for ADD and was extremely sick from the medication. Having to rush him to the doctor and monitor him for 24 hours while being Mom to a nine year old, Spencer, and 14 month old, Tori, was not easy. I really needed Todd home to help but he was in his Recruit training after being newly hired and couldn't leave the training.
Or like the time our oldest son, Spencer, got terribly bit by a German Shepherd dog, mangling his hand at age twelve and having to get him to the emergency room on my own because Todd was in Paramedic school. Luckily, my parents and sisters were in town for a family gathering and they were able to watch my little Evan and Tori.
How about the time that I was sick with the flu, I mean really sick, and after four days of being sick Todd had to head in to work. I was not functioning at all and had to beg a sister to come help. Now Todd could have called in sick to work, of course he has that option, but I really hated to have him take his valuable vacation time for me so I turned to my sister instead. (He would have taken time off for me but my independent streak is an entire new issue you don't what to hear about.)
As I'm typing all of this, I can't help but think about military families who deal with these issues on a whole other level. So, please know, I don't share all of this to complain... why am I sharing this? I'm sharing to give some insight into the life of being a wife to a career firefighter who lives and breathes the life and has a wife who loves him dearly for his dedication.
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